The Gifts
by scarlet phlame
Summary: It all started with a cube and a metal rat, though that definitely wasn't how it ended. Christmas gift for Piper Emerald and Corliss Kat. Crossover with Torchwood and Familiars.
1. Piper Emerald

To: Piper Emerald

From: If you don't know who from, then... stop being an Owen.

* * *

The cube had fallen from the sky.

That much was sort of true. It had fallen, though not exactly from the sky. Apparently, somebody (some sort of redhead) had tossed it at the ground, and run back inside the TARDIS.

Piper kept replaying the footage, frowning at the small cube in her hand. It was white, and had some sort of snake-like marking on it.

So this cube, which didn't look like much of a cube, had fallen when one of the Doctor's companions (that was the only explanation for the redhead she'd had) had thrown the cube onto the ground for no apparent reason.

And when it had fallen, it had been about three inches away from hitting Gwen in the head. Yay for Gwen bashers.

Piper sighed and put the cube down.

"You getting any readings from it?" she asked Tosh, who was currently working at the monitor.

"Not much, although it appears to be... slightly sentient," Tosh realised. "But how is this possible?"

"Nothing in Cardiff is possible," Piper sighed, staring blankly at the cube.

"DUN DUN DUN," the cube said, and Piper screamed and jumped backwards, staring in horror at the box.

"It just talked!" she shrieked.

"Analsying the readings," Tosh said, fingers typing at the keyboard ever so quickly. Owen ran up to where the two girls were staring at the cube.

"Everything all right up here?" he asked. "Heard someone scream."

"The cube spoke," Piper said, trying to sound normal as possible. Then again, nothing was normal in Cardiff, London.

"What did it say?" Owen asked, eyes round as saucers.

"It said-" Piper started, but the cube cut her off.

"DUN DUN DUN!"

"Seriously?" Owen looked unamused. The cube retorted rather sharply.

"Shut up, ratface," the cube said simply.

"I'm registering an unknown energy," Tosh announced.

Owen looked offended. "I'm not a ratface! You shut up!"

"...Ratface!"

"Stop it, or else I'll throw you out the window!" Owen roared.

"DUN DUN DUN," the cube said.

"Stop it, you're arguing with a cube," Piper said, rubbing her forehead. As if her day couldn't get any weirder...

Owen pointed at the cube. "It called me ratface!" he stuttered.

"Yes, and you threatened to throw it out the window, even though we're underground," Piper told him.

Owen groaned.

The cube groaned, too.

"What are you?" Piper asked, looking at the cube menacingly.

"A cube," the cube said, simply.

"You're talking to us, tell me, how are you talking to us?" Piper asked.

"Through my mouth," the cube said.

"You don't have a mouth," Piper told the cube.

"I know, right?" the cube smirked.

"Uhh," Tosh said, "there are no energy fluctuations when it speaks."

"What goes on?" Jack asked as the door Hub alarms went off and the cog-shaped entryway opened.

"Piper found a cube that almost fell on my head, and then it woke up and called Owen a ratface," Gwen told him.

"So it's got eyes then," Jack smirked. "Well, then, nice to meet you-"

"Jack!" Piper hit him in the arm. "It's serious! What if it's a bomb?"

Jack shook his head. "It's not in my stomach, therefore it can't be a bomb."

"What if it is, though?" Gwen asked. "What if we all explode or somethin'?"

"DUN DUN DUN," the cube said.

"You never said it was melodramatic," Jack laughed.

"It's giving off strange readings," Tosh explained. "But how?"

Jack frowned. "Odd. Huh."

"I think we should destroy it," Owen advised warily.

"I'm a rainbow!" the cube declared, suddenly lighting up in different colors. Everyone stared at it, shocked.

"What the hell...?" Piper groaned.

"Is this some weird Crayola advertisement...?" Ianto mumbled.

"DUN DUN DUN!" the cube said.

"Shut up!" Piper told the cube.

"No!" the cube responded.

"Let's get rid of it," Jack agreed with Owen.

"You can't destroy me, I'm a rainbow!" the cube told them. "A rainbow time lord!"

Jack and Piper froze as if they were in concrete.

"What?" Piper asked.

"That's impossible," Jack said, horrified. "That's just impossible."

"DUN DUN DUN!" the cube sang, as the FanFiction went to commercial break.


	2. Corliss Kat

To: Corliss Kat

From: Yes, that is the question, _**isn't it**_?

* * *

Corliss the Kat was not expecting to bump into a weird, technological looking mouse in the road at midnight.

Corliss was just unsuspectingly looking for some Kit Kat bars.

So when a weird mouse thing came rolling up to her, she let out a loud yowl when it hit her in the paw.

Limping on her hurt paw, she stared at the mouse thing, which let out an excitable squeak, and bumped into the wall.

Corliss sighed, obviously the thing was dumb.

Then it turned around and came barreling back towards her.

Corliss screeched and tore back through the night, the metal mouse thing coming after her.

Then, halfway through the chase, the thing turned around in a full circle and plowed off in a different direction.

Before it did, Corliss got the scent of fresh mouse.

Yum.

She chased after the mouse thing, fur riding in tendrils along the wind. Paw extended, she reached out to swat at the mouse thing.

Then it turned in a circle and came back at her.

She yowled once more, running to gain some distance from the creature hurtling towards her.

Then it turned around again in a circle and went in the other direction.

Corliss stared at it, dumbfounded. Did it really expect her to chase after it again? Especially since it couldn't seem to make up its mind which direction it wanted to go.

She followed it, eyeing it warily.

It bumped into an alley wall, and then got stuck in between two trash cans.

She waited there for an hour or so. It appeared to be stuck between the two metal cans. Pleased, she went over to it and picked it up with her teeth, then carried it for a while back to where Skylar was waiting.

Nobody was home, so she put down the rat and waited for interrogation.

Then it jumped up and started moving.

She groaned, not again, not again!

She ran after it, her little paws patting against the rug as she went and chased after the little mouse thing.

It wasn't like chasing Gilbert, because at least Gilbert could make up his mind in tag. This mouse was dumb, obviously, because it didn't know if it wanted to be chased or if it wanted to chase! Shaking her head, Corliss barreled after the little mouse.

She turned, and tried to pounce on the thing, but it just slid out of the way and she hit her head on the carpet.


	3. The Gifts

This is a Christmas gift for Piper Emerald and Corliss Kat.

Anyway, R&R!

* * *

It all started with House (M.D.).

"You're taking the cube onboard," Rory said, dully.

"Yep!" the Doctor said cheerfully. "Well, I thought, even if they aren't really Timelords, they count as Timelords, since they're... well, still technically alive, except in a box. A recording box! Isn't that brilliant?!"

He continued to chatter, and Rory looked at the cube warily.

"I think something's wrong with the Doctor," Rory told Amy, when they were alone in their bunkbeds later on.

"Oh, you've met him, then," Amy said, playing with her hair absent mindedly.

"No, I mean it. He's got these cubes, you know, the Time lordy cubes, and he talks to them compulsively," Rory said, scowling.

"Something the cubes have got in common with us," Amy noted.

Five weeks later, the Doctor found a little Cybermat and had brought it on board.

Amy scowled at it, disapprovingly.

"Doctor, that thing has got teeth," she said. "It was once a living mouse, converted into a robot, like you said."

"Oh, don't worry, I took out the brain. And the teeth. And the other bits," the Doctor reassured her.

Rest assured, Rory was not reassured. Not at all.

Over the days, the Doctor's chatter increased. One time, he left the cube in Amy and Rory's room, and the thing kept on bothering them, trying to make them tell it bedtime stories.

When the Doctor landed in Cardiff to refuel, Amy and Rory were ready.

Amy grabbed the little box and threw it outside onto the pavement right by the TARDIS.

Rory turned on the Cybermat and let it run off into the streets, in the darkness.

Both satisfied, they continued traveling with the Doctor and resuming their NORMAL, daily lives.

Until Rory found an Ood in their house, that is.


End file.
